An appropriate ending

I'm having a hard time with this. I kinda suck...I think that this is too much of a diary. It's funny cuz sometimes I think Hmmm I should write about this in my blog and then I get home and ask...why? I figure it's much like my reasoning for not really talking to people about stuff...in my world when I complain, or explain what's going on in my view I always feel like I'm complaining. However when other people do it I feel that it's necessary and I love to listen because I want to help. So I decided to take a new approach to this whole blogging thing. I started logging on it to do more creative writing, but my head is all over the place and I never finish a story or a thought really. Let's face it if I was to write in this blog it would be filled with love, mystery and enchantment. Oh for example, there was this boy once who.......

Friends

Imagine if you will all your friends. Not the ones that you have that you occasionally talk to, I mean the ones that you can wait maybe a day or two to talk to them again. The one's that you text first in the morning. Almost like your other half.

Now, chew on this. There's one of those kind of friends that have the same qualities as that above that when you're upset you talk to. And most of the time they listen. If anything they say the "uh-huh" and "I understand" at the right time. There's that occasional time when you wonder if they're even listening or processing any of what they say. Then, when you finally fall silent they say what you need to hear. Not necessarily what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear. Sometimes, that sucks. You don't want to admit that they're right, but you have to step back and realize that they are taking an outside opinion. However, they are still biased. Now if they're you're really good friend they are more than likely on your side.

It's easy to be the one doing the talking I've discovered. The listening is easy but when you don't get to say what you need to so that the other person can hear what they need to hear. It's even harder when you realize that you can't necessarily give them what they need to hear because that would mean losing part of yourself in the process.

A Broken Promise

So I've recently made a mistake. Broke a promise. The kind of pain that eats away at one's heart when they make such a mistake as this is very painful. I can literally feel it eating away at my heart, mind and soul. The only thing I can think of is admitting to the person/s that I made this promise to and tell them the I've broken it. One thing that I used to pride myself on is following instructions and doing what I was told. Normally, I ask no questions, I just do it. And maybe it was from increased stress, and being completely overwhelmed that I decided to rebel. The sad thing is, I wasn't rebelling against the person/s I made the promise to. I was rebelling against a certain member/s of my family. To not be under his thumb anymore. To be my own person and make my own decisions and mistakes...to learn from them. But this mistake...is too intense. Too much to take on. I too hard to admit. I asked what should I do about my overwhelming amount of stress and someone told me to relax and breathe. Maybe the consequences wont be what I fear. I just need to relax for now. So think of me in your prayers. Give me the strength for patience and relaxation. Thanks!

Crying over Spilt Milk

The saying, "No use crying over spilt milk" made somewhat of an impression on me. Originally, I thought, well stuff happens and there's no use crying or getting angry at the the situation. Suck it up and keep going. Recently, I was in a "relationship" of sorts and it came to an end. I knew that there was something that was missing when I couldn't bring myself to cry even a little bit. I was upset don't get me wrong but crying was not what I wanted to do. I've watched the sobbing of other girls and I didn't want to be one of them. Coping method? Ahh...I'd love for it to be a relationship that I share simultaneously with two men; a Mr. Ben and a Mr. Jerry, however it is not. I'm coping by sharing this with you, sorry! LOL

David's Sunflower Seeds

Uh...so I was at walmart the other day and found a huge bag of David Sunflower Seeds for a dollar. At first I wondered who would buy that huge bag? Then realized...Me...I would...and here's my motivation:

I love old people. The stories they tell. The experiences they've had...and lets face it I'll be one one day. However, we need to seriously consider limitations. I.E. DRIVING! That's the major problem. I mean let's face it a lot of accidents are due to elderly drivers. I was almost in one. If I had not been paying attention I would have been forced off the bridge and flipped over.

So now you're wondering, where did the sunflower seeds come in? Uh...I've been eating them instead of yelling at the dumb drivers who happen to continously be elder drivers. Should we set an age limit on drivers? Or should they have a test that they take at a certain age to determine if they should/could drive?

Arive Alive

Yesterday on my way to work I noticed that there was a lot of construction. This time the signs that flashed with their little yellow bulbs saying, "Arive Alive". It was in reference to sober grad night for the high school-ers. I couldn't stop laughing because these kids just graduated from high school and the people who are congratulating them in a sense couldn't spell "arrive." So here's what I'm saying to California and the rest of the U.S. who decide where our tax paying money needs to go to. To the schools!!! Funding for the schools is important! Cutting back on expenses is necessary for now. However, schools hold the future of America. So why are we preventing students from learning by closing college courses, and raising parking passes as well as books and food?

Actually...

Today I found out something about myself. Well to be fair I already knew this but I chose to ignore it. Why? Because the consequences weren't beneficial nor did they hurt me in any way. What I missed is that essentially it did hurt me. It wasn't physical bruising, it was a mental thing. So now, today, I'm planning to take a stand and stop it. I will no longer let people walk all over me. I guess it's my fault anyway because when you have the inability to make a decision it sends the message out that this is someone that needs their hand held throughout life. Well I don't. No I can't make the decision if I want chicken or beef. No I don't know what I want for dinner, and no I don't know where I want to go when we go out. (Um...by the way...if you ask me out you should KNOW what we're going to be doing.) I know what you're wondering, "Amanda, why did you decide that now? Why not earlier/later?" Well I may not know my job exactly perfect yet but I do know the customer part. A lot of customers were jerks today but overall this one just sent me over the edge. When he refused to do his part of the initial paperwork and proceeded to tell me why in a very unmistakably rude way I just grabbed the paper and said thank you, and walked away while he continued talking to me. I was later told by my coworker the proper answer (because he was being a jerk) which was a great response...and I kinda wished he was there whispering that in my ear lol. Some of you may think that I handled it pretty well but just walking away but in doing so I believe it showed submission and allowed him to "bully" me in a sense to allow him to do what he wanted rather than what was right.

I've been in customer service for a while. One of my favorite things that a friend told me is to use the word "Actually" it is the polite way to say. You're Wrong!

Actually, the reason why you couldn't find that book is because it was written by soandso.

Actually, if you don't sign this paper we can't work on your car.

Hope that helps anyone else who deal with difficult customers :)